Supporting Loved Ones: What about medications?

Most people are understanding and caring when they hear I have a mental illness, but there is definitely a level of discomfort as they consider their words. The goal of these posts is helping friends and family members become more comfortable in what they say and how they act around a loved one with mental illness. These post aren't perfect. Some of the "don't" items may actually be helpful for certain people, and some of the "do" items may be faux pas for others.

In doing research for these posts through talking with people with mental illness and reading articles and blog posts about responding to those with mental illness, I found some common things people don't like hearing, words to say instead, and other things you can say and do to support someone with their mental health.

Again, I'll start this post with a "what not to say." Unless you're a licensed medical health provider specializing in psychiatric medications, don't say to your friend or family member: "Have you tried X medication?" or, "You're probably on the wrong medication."

Amazingly, I've actually heard something like this when I was hospitalized. A nurse heard what medication I was taking, and she said, "Oh, that's not really a good one. You should try X." Now, a nurse may have more of an idea than some people about psychiatric medications, but she had literally just met me.

She went on for a solid minute about why a different medication would be better for me. Past medications, side effects from those medications, and how long I'd been on current medications were all unknown to her. For all she knew I had been on the medication she was suggesting, and it hadn't worked or had caused terrible side effects.

Considering the nurse example, remember what you do and do not know about psychiatric medications. You, a friend, or a family member may have quickly recovered from a mental illness when they were put on a new medication, but medication works differently on different people. Just because a medication worked for one person doesn't mean it will work for another.

If you have a family member or friend who tells you about her or his mental illness, resist the urge to question what medication he or she is taking. If she or he wants to talk about medications, fine, but I suggest avoiding the subject completely unless she or he brings it up. If your friend or family member does bring it up, allow her or him to direct the conversation. If you're curious, it's probably OK to ask about how the medication is working or if there are any side effects, but try not to do it in a way that may come off as judgmental.

I hope this is helpful. If there's something else you have a question about or would like covered in this series, feel free to comment, send me a message, or email me at leckbann@gmail.com.