I can't do anything to help: Mental Health Myths

This post is a continuation of  my experiences with mental health myths and facts. All the myths I quote in these posts are taken verbatim from Mental Health Myths and Facts on the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services at mentalhealth.gov.

Myth: I can't do anything for a person with a mental health problem.

I don't know how many people actually believe this, but I'm guessing not many. I think the real issue is not that people believe they can't help someone who's struggling with mental health, but that they're not sure what to say or do for that person.

It's not an unusual to feel helpless when someone is dealing with mental health issues or even just common emotional difficulties. The loss of a job, a breakup, or the passing of a friend or family member are all things we see friends and family go through, and often we feel powerless to offer any help or comfort.

What I've found helpful is simply someone being there with me -- just to hang out. There's no need to try and say something profound. My experience with both the giving and receiving end of emotional support is that one of the best things you can say is, "What can I do to help?" You can leave it at that, or you can offer specific things. Would they like a meal dropped off? Some help with taking care of their children or some housework? Would they simply like to spend some time with you?

There's not one-size-fits-all approach to help someone struggling with mental illness, but I've never heard someone say they were upset by a general offer of support. I would encourage caution when asking the person specific questions about their situation. Some people would prefer not to talk about what they're going through, and especially consider the timing. 

No one wants to start crying at work or in school. It's fine to ask someone if they'd like to talk, but I'd avoid specific questions unless that person opens up to you. I know that sometimes when I've been dealing with symptoms of bipolar -- especially when they're more acute -- I don't want to about it. I'd rather just keep the conversation light.

That said, if someone is really struggling, you shouldn't worry about hurting her or his feelings. The Mental Health Myths and Facts article gives some advice for offering that person support:

• Reaching out and letting them know you are available to help
• Helping them access mental health services
• Learning and sharing the facts about mental health, especially if you hear something that isn't true
• Treating them with respect, just as you would anyone else
• Refusing to define them by their diagnosis or using labels such as "crazy"

Besides these things, I'd also remind you that if you think someone is in serious danger of hurting her or himself, you need to do whatever you can to get them help immediately. If you're on the phone with someone who's threatening to hurt herself, call 911 immediately and give them the person's location. If you're with the person, get them to a hospital in whatever way you can.

I've almost finished  up posts about mental health myths. I only have one more after this one, and I thank you for reading. I would love to start a series of posts after this one where I answer some questions about my experiences with mental health -- questions could be about anything, but I'd especially like to hear questions about my specific diagnosis: generalized anxiety disorder and bipolar I.

So, what do you want to ask me about my experience with mental illness? It can be anything including medications, hospital stays, coping with work, friends, family, and anything having to do with bipolar (the depression and/or the manic) or generalized anxiety disorder. I'd love to hear  from you. Comment on this post or on social media. Due to the limited responses I generally get, I'll probably be able to answer every question.