The first category of skills I’ve been working on is mindfulness. Using mindfulness helps get me out of my head and focus on the current moment rather than ruminating on past mistakes or worrying about the future.
The three specific skills I’ve been working on are, “Observe: just notice,” “Describe: put into words,” and, “Nonjudgmental stance.”
When I talked to my therapist, I mentioned how my mind would often wander to past mistakes I’d made and how those thoughts led me to feelings of guilt, which in turn contributed to my depression. Also, I was spending time worrying about future events, which was aggravating my anxiety.
So, she suggested using the observe skill and the describe skill along with the nonjudgmental stance to deal with the thoughts and emotions.
Using the observe skill, rather than trying to counteract worry or the thought of a past mistake, I just notice it. I see that it’s there, then use my next skill, describe. I describe the thought in my head along with the feeling it elicits. In this way, I separate myself from the thought and emotion. The thought and emotion are simply there—they are not me. I then employ the nonjudgmental stance, which means I look at the thought and emotion and without judging them. In this way, I don’t let the emotion affect me further. Instead, I merely acknowledge it and not worry about when the thought and emotion will leave.
I can’t say these skills in mindfulness work every time. There are still moments were I succumb to guilt or anxiety, but putting these skills into practice definitely helps.
In a future post, I’ll write about some other skills I’ve been using that helped get me through that rough patch.
Thanks for reading.
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