Back a few years ago, after a stint in the hospital for depression, I took a class on DBT. DBT, dialectic behavioral therapy, teaches skills to change thoughts and behaviors through mindfulness, support, and challenging ineffective thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs.
There is a ton of information about DBT on the web, and I've also written some posts about it which you can read with this link: DBT. You can also read a good summary on DBT at PsychCentral's website in the article, "An Overview of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy."
A while back, I pulled out my materials for the class because I was dealing with a lot of anxiety. In my case, anxiety comes in several forms. When I was working full-time, it often came because I felt I couldn't finish the work I needed to, or I was worried I was doing a bad job.
I also experience anxiety about what people think of me. In general, I'm OK with who I am as a person and realize that people are going to think and say about me what they will, and there's nothing I can do about it. When I'm going through an anxious phase, however, I'll often wonder what people think of me, especially if I perceive I've done or said something to offend them.
Anxiety also causes me to ruminate on past issues or mistakes, making me want to go back and change things. I can slip into depression when I let my thoughts continue to focus on past mistakes.
Finally, I sometimes feel anxious about the future. I think everyone spends time thinking about the future, and it's not all bad. It's good to plan and think ahead about situations one may face. The negative comes when one worries about all the things that could go wrong in the future.
The thing that helped pull me out of my recent anxious patch was focusing on being in the moment along with using mantras to challenge my worry thoughts.
To be more in the moment (mindful), I focus on several DBT skills on mindfulness and distress tolerance. I use my senses to try to pull myself out of my head and focus on my five senses. For example: If I'm washing the dishes and worry thoughts start to creep in, I describe in my mind what the bubbles look like, the physical sensations of the water, the washcloth, and the dishing. I think of the smell of the soap and the sound of running water. By shifting my attention, it helps me leave aside my worry thoughts.
The other skill I use for anxiety is mantras. I've got three that I use—two from my therapist and one from my wife. My go-to mantra is, "You've learned as much as you can from that mistake." The other two are, "Don't try to improve the past," and, "No one else is thinking about this."
So, when I'm thinking of a mistake, instead of ruminating on it and feeling guilty about it, I think, "I've learned all I can from that mistake," and try to dismiss the thought. Similarly, when I've made a bad decision and wish I could change it, I think, "Don't try to improve the past."
When I'm feeling bad about something I've done or said to someone in the distant past, I say to myself, "No one else is thinking about this." This one's a little tougher for me since I don't know that for sure, but it's more than likely that if I've done something to offend someone a long time ago, they're probably over it. If not, there's nothing I can do about it anyway.
It's been nice to be feeling better and past this patch of anxiety. I know that with my illnesses, bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, I'll be dealing with patches of anxiety for the rest of my life, but it feels like I'm more able to cope with these patches each time they happen.
Stay well.
