2021 Goals

Some people think New Year's resolutions are lame, but I look forward to coming up with goals for the year. Here's what I hope to accomplish this year.

1. Run 1,400 miles
This one could be tough. I've been dealing with a foot injury that appears to be on the mend (cross fingers), and my history of injuries and lack of time might make this goal unreachable, but I'm going to be optimistic and go for it.

2. Break 18:15 in a 5K
This is a downgrade from last year's goal of running sub-18:00, but I'm getting older and slower, so I'll be satisfied to reach this goal.

3. Run an in person race
C'mon vaccines.

4. Finish a marathon

5. Average one-and-a-half hours of strength training per week

Like I said: I look forward to setting goals for the year, and this year I'm feeling optimistic. 

Have a wonderful 2021!

2020 Goal Results

This was a strange year for goals. All the races I ran in 2020 were virtual, making running much different. It was also a frustrating year of injuries, so as a result my goals didn't go as well as I would have liked.

Here are the goal results:

1. Run at least 1,560 miles this year
Running injuries prevented me from making a real attempt at this goal as I took all of March off, but I did manage to put in 1,386 miles, so not bad for missing an entire month: 89%

2. Break 18 minutes in the 5K
I managed an 18:02 by myself, in the dark, with a warm up that was too short. I almost feel like I should get full credit for this one, but instead it's: 99.7%

3. Submit a story to Runner's World
I got stuck on this one. I didn't really have a good idea, and when I did get an idea, I didn't get it to go anywhere: 0%

4. Write 52 blog posts and have 48 of those finished by the start of December
Done

5. Get to and maintain racing weight
I made progress on this one and got down to the weight I was at for my first sub-3 hour marathon, but not to the weight of my PR marathon. This one goes down as: 95%

So there it is. I met 77% of my goals. Coming soon: goals for 2021.

Happy New Year!

I Am Not Bipolar

I am not bipolar. That’s right: I’m not bipolar. If you know me well and you’re feeling a little anxiety about that statement — perhaps you're worried I've stopped taking my medication — stay with me for a moment.

For years, and even in the not-too-distant past, if someone would have asked me, “are you bipolar?” I would have said, “yes.”

Now, however, my answer would be, “no.”

The thing is, I’m not bipolar. I have bipolar.

Consider another example: a person with diabetes. They’re not a diabetic. They are a person with diabetes. What’s the difference? 

Well, if one is a diabetic than that is who they are. She or he is defined by his or her body’s deficiency in processing sugar. Instead of being defined as a mother, a caring friend, a painter, or a volunteer, instead she or he becomes defined by meals, medications, and disease management.

In much the same way, I don’t want to say I’m bipolar. Rather, I’d like to say I have bipolar. In, “Preventing Bipolar Relapse,” by Ruth White, what she had to say on this matter really hit home for me. She writes, “Bipolar is not who you are — it is an illness you have. There is more to you than an illness of the brain.”

By thinking about bipolar as something that I have rather than something that I am, I feel more in control. Bipolar is something I can manage, not something I am. Instead, I can define myself in more self-effacing ways: Christian, father, husband, teacher, blogger, and friend to name a few.

So thank you to everyone in my life who's helped define me on things other than my illness.

Be well.

Working Out Indoors

Due to the risk of COVID-19, Laura and I thought that this would be the year where we bought a treadmill and cancel our gym memberships.

In Minnesota, working out indoors is almost inevitable. It's dark fairly late into the morning and gets dark late in the afternoon, which, for many, means no daylight hours to work out outside. And when there is time to exercise outdoors in daylight, there is snow and cold to contend with.

Working out indoors seems an easy solution to dealing with Minnesota winters, but there's one problem: it's boring. Some indoor equipment is worse than others, but whether it's a rowing machine or an elliptical, I find working out indoors significantly less stimulating than going for a run outside.

That said, there are some things one can do to make indoor exercise less boring.

Sure, some may have incredible mental fortitude and can run on a treadmill or spin an elliptical for hours without need of distraction. I, however, cannot. Instead, I rely on distraction to make the time go by.

One go to method for many is to watch some sort of video while they exercise. I've done this before on my phone while using the elliptical. It works OK, but I have to watch something that I don't have to look at the whole time because I'm tall enough that I have to look down somewhat which can make it uncomfortable for my neck. Home indoor equipment could face a TV or a tablet mount could be used to make watching video more comfortable. 

More often, I listen to books or podcasts when I'm working out indoors. It's great when I find something I'm really into because I can get lost in that book or podcasts and the time just flies by. 

One other strategy that seems somewhat helpful is covering the display on workout equipment either through using a setting that hides it or throwing a towel over it. It seems more mentally challenging to see a time or distance remaining that looks too long. Hiding that information makes it more bearable.

Our new treadmill has a program called iFit that is surprisingly enjoyable for an indoor workout. It involves following a trainer as she or he runs a route is some scenic place. The elevation and speed (though I override the speed) are adjusted automatically along with the terrain of the workout.

Do you have an indoor tip to share? What gets you through workouts indoors?

Home Update

 After going through pictures since my last home update, I realized I probably could have done two of these for the last month. It's amazing how fast time flies by. Here are some highlights:

Emptying her sleepsuits

The littlest one has started standing and is saying, "mamama," and, "dadada," along with various other iterations. She's making other sounds too and also enjoys climbing on things and getting into anything she can reach.

The weather in November and early December has been pretty mild, so we've made our way outside almost every day. We like going to the park where the older little one and I play dinosaur school (we've played tyrannosaurus rex school from kindergarten through college and several grades of velociraptors) on the bocce ball court while Claire moves as best she can in her snowsuit.

The older little one continues to do distance learning preschool. He enjoys just about everything we do and really enjoys the science projects. We've made dancing grapes with vinegar and baking soda and above we made a "lava lamp" with Alka-Seltzer, oil, water, and food coloring.

The littlest one likes to randomly suck her
thumb and snuggle up to stuffed animals

We watched an episode of Peppa Pig where the pig family uses Marble Run, so naturally we had to build our own. If you have kids, I highly recommend Peppa Pig.

For the first time in a long time, we celebrated Thanksgiving in Eagan, Minn., and it was the first time the older little one didn't spend Thanksgiving with my side of the family in Norfolk, Neb. My turkey didn't turn out very good (pretty dry), but I made decent turkey noodle soup.

Thanks to our friend Jared, we now have a 312 pound treadmill in our basement office/bedroom/workout room. We've both been enjoying the flexibility of running or walking at home.

I hope everyone's holiday season is going well. I look forward to sharing my next update from the home front.

Crossroads

When I ran my virtual half marathon a few weeks ago, I was hoping to run under three hours. My training had gone much better than the previous year's Twin Cities Marathon, so I thought I could do better than the 3:07 I ran there. 

Unfortunately, the last few long runs before the marathon my foot started acting up. At the marathon, it began to hurt at mile seven and by mile twenty-one I was ready to drop out of the race. You can read more about it on my race report.

Now, I'm getting tired of always being injured. I would say that I've joked before that running is just something I do between injuries, but it's not really a joke. Running is actually something I do between and during injuries.

So, after long consideration, I've decided to cut significantly back on my running. I'll use the extra time to work on strength and mobility as well as walking.

The hard part will be setting goals to stay motivated. Running fewer miles will most likely lead to slower race times, so I'll have to give some consideration as to how to structure my goals.

This decision-making process has given me conflicting feelings. Part of me feels optimistic and excited to be running without pain, but part of me feels disappointed that I'll most likely be running slower times. There is a remote chance that the extra strength and mobility work I'll be doing will make up for the reduction in running volume.

I'm interested to see how this goes. I know I won't enjoy it quite as much as running, but I will enjoy running injury-free (I hope).

Stay well.

Mental Health Day or Sick Day

It's a pretty common phrase: "I'm taking a mental health day." I don't know all the reasons people have for taking a mental health day, but generally it means that work is stressful and one needs a day off to mentally recuperate.

As someone with bipolar, were I to take a mental health day, it may be more complex. Unfortunately, most workplaces don't allow for mental health days, but they do allow for sick days, and this is where things get tricky for me. It was easier when I was a substitute teacher and I pretty much picked my own schedule, but before I substitute taught, there were times when I couldn't go into work because of bipolar symptoms.

Unfortunately, there's still a stigma attached to mental illness, especially bipolar, that keeps me from saying what the problem is that's keeping me from work. I don't feel comfortable saying, "My bipolar symptoms are really acting up, and I'm not going to be able to make it in today." Maybe that's partly on me, but I'd still feel more comfortable saying I had a cold or a headache that was keeping me from work.

And what do I do when I call in to work? If I had the flu, a severe cold, or a headache, I'd stay at home and rest. If I'm feeling bipolar symptoms, however, I'd much rather try to get myself moving to burn off some energy if I'm anxious or manic (within reason. Mania can be exacerbated by too much exercise), or to get a mood boost if I'm depressed.

It feels weird being on a run, at the gym, or out for a walk after calling in sick to work. It shouldn't. While resting is the best bet for some ailments, activity is better for others.

I hope one day it will be easier to call in sick to work and say, "I'm dealing with some mental health symptoms," and not feel ashamed doing it.

Stay well.