DBT - Distress Tolerance - Part 2

Life will always deal difficult circumstances. It's part of the human experience. While some people deal with more difficult circumstances than others, everyone will have to deal with uncomfortable, if not tragic, situations. While these DBT skills can help those struggling with mental health issues or mental illness, they are also helpful to maintain mental health in general.

In my last post on distress tolerance, I wrote about dealing with difficult situations using radical acceptance. In this post I want to share in a little more detail how I use radical acceptance.

Radical acceptance means taking a look at a past event or current situation and deciding what to do about it. Rather than allowing the situation to consume you and lead to anxiety or depression, there are strategies to cope and deal with that event or situation without emotional turmoil.

As I touched on in the previous post on distress tolerance, the first part is accepting the situation for what it is. Then, it is accepting the emotions that go along with that situation. Finally, it is accepting that life will be OK, even with the painful situation.

It is hard for me to practice radical acceptance when feeling depressed. Instead of being able to accept a past mistake, I tend to ruminate and focus on that mistake with regret, which leads to more feelings of depression.

It's good to practice radical acceptance when I'm feeling balanced because then it's easier to accept a past event or mistake and realize that the only thing I can do is learn from that past event or mistake and that beating myself up or feeling depressed about it isn't going to help me. By practicing radical acceptance when I'm not experiencing bipolar symptoms, it helps me be more effective at it when I am dealing with anxiety, depression, or hypomania.

A big piece of radical acceptance is telling oneself that life can still be good despite a past painful event. Past events do not have to become self-defining. Though I had to leave two different jobs abruptly because of acute bipolar symptoms, I don't need to label myself a quitter. Instead, I can accept what happened and tell myself that even though those weren't ideal circumstances, I have a job now and am better prepared to stop or reduce bipolar symptoms that could lead me to miss work. Rather than focus on the past, I can enjoy the things that are good in my life, of which are many.

My next post will be my last post on distress tolerance.

Until next time.

DBT - Distress Tolerance - Part 1

In my last post, I wrote about how using DBT, specifically mindfulness skills, helped me through a rough patch of bipolar symptoms. The skill sets of DBT include mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. In my last post, I wrote about how I used mindfulness  skills to cope with symptoms from bipolar and how those skills can help keep one mentally healthy in general.

Distress tolerance skills were also helpful in getting me through my last rough patch of bipolar symptoms. Distress tolerance skills are similar to mindfulness skills in that many of the skills help one focus in the present rather than fretting about the future or feeling depressed about the past. I’ll spend a couple posts on distress tolerance as there are a lot of skills and several were helpful to me in getting through my last rough patch.

The main distress tolerance skills my therapist had me work on was radical acceptance. Radical acceptance means accepting the world and the moment exactly how it is in that moment. In my post on mindfulness, I wrote about using the observe and describe skills to recognize memories and emotions that may be painful. Using radical acceptance, I work on experiencing the moment, no matter how uncomfortable, and accepting that moment for how it is, without denial and without judgment.

By accepting the situation or emotion without denying it, I’m more able to effectively deal with it. Denial of a situation or an emotion does not get rid of it. By pretending a situation or emotion is not there, it merely prolongs the situation or emotion because one has no opportunity to deal with them.

Radical acceptance was helpful to me as I went through my last bout of bipolar symptoms. When I get into a cycle of symptoms, I can start to feel out of control and begin to worry that I’ll continue spiraling and end up in really bad shape, possibly landing in the hospital. By using radical acceptance, I can stay in the current moment and focus on that moment alone rather than worrying about what may happen in the future.

Using radical acceptance does not mean you have to shrug, say, “it is what it is,” and leave the situation at that. Instead, one can still radically accept something and still work to improve or learn from the situation.

In my next post I'll write more about how to get through difficult moments—both by exploring radical acceptance in more depth and by using other skills and strategies.

DBT - Mindfulness

About a month ago, I wrote about how I was using DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) to help get me through a rough patch. I’m happy to report that since that post I’ve started to feel better, and I attribute at least part of that improvement to working on DBT skills. If one doesn’t have anxiety or depression,  DBT skills can still be useful for improving mental health in general.

The first category of skills I’ve been working on is mindfulness. Using mindfulness helps get me out of my head and focus on the current moment rather than ruminating on past mistakes or worrying about the future.

The three specific skills I’ve been working on are, “Observe: just notice,” “Describe: put into words,” and, “Nonjudgmental stance.”

When I talked to my therapist, I mentioned how my mind would often wander to past mistakes I’d made and how those thoughts led me to feelings of guilt, which in turn contributed to my depression.  Also, I was spending time worrying about future events, which was aggravating my anxiety.

So, she suggested using the observe skill and the describe skill along with the nonjudgmental stance to deal with the thoughts and emotions. 

Using the observe skill, rather than trying to counteract worry or the thought of a past mistake, I just notice it. I see that it’s there, then use my next skill, describe. I describe the thought in my head along with the feeling it elicits. In this way, I separate myself from the thought and emotion. The thought and emotion are simply there—they are not me. I then employ the nonjudgmental stance, which means I look at the thought and emotion and without judging them. In this way, I don’t let the emotion affect me further. Instead, I merely acknowledge it and not worry about when the thought and emotion will leave.

I can’t say these skills in mindfulness work every time. There are still moments were I succumb to guilt or anxiety, but putting these skills into practice definitely helps.

In a future post, I’ll write about some other skills I’ve been using that helped get me through that rough patch. 

Thanks for reading.

Twin Cities Marathon 2019 - Race Report

So I don’t usually do race reports anymore, but now this is my second in as many months. I thought this one would be important, however, given that I had so much support and so many people donate to my Team World Vision fundraiser. I thought about doing an abbreviated report, but I decided to just lay it all out. So many people helped motivate me along this journey of training for and racing the Twin Cities Marathon, so I wanted to give a detailed report of how my race went.

***

The night before the race went like many pre-race nights. Since high school, I’ve struggled with getting to and staying asleep before a big race. It took forever for me to fall asleep as I anticipated Twin Cities Marathon, and once I did fall asleep, I woke up several times.

Despite my poor sleep, I felt pretty good once I got out of bed. Laura was already up, so after I made my coffee, she helped me tape on my bracelet with the names of everyone who’d donated to my Team World Vision fundraiser and the miles I was dedicating to them. 

After getting dressed, I gathered my things and drove over to the Fort Snelling Park and Ride. I’d never taken the light rail to the start of a Twin Cities Marathon or 10 Mile before, but when I do the race in the future I will probably do it again—it was very convenient and stress-free.

When I got to the start I felt like I was there a little earlier than I wanted to be. I found a bench against a building and drank some Generation Ucan and finished my coffee. I still had plenty of time to use the Port-o-Potties (twice). Before the start I ran into several running friends and a former coworker. It was nice to see some friendly faces before the race.

I stayed in my warm clothes as close to the start as I thought was wise, then stuffed them in my drop bag, dropped off the bag, and headed to the start.

In the starting corral I took off the long sleeve shirt I was wearing and put it in one of the Goodwill bins along the side of the corral. I kept on an old pair of gloves and a stocking hat that I planned to toss off once I was feeling warm enough. 

As I started, I felt like I had to pee. It wasn’t bad, but I was afraid I’d have to stop to pee during the race. 

Like many big races, I felt boxed in at the beginning. There was a big crowd, and a lot of people moved at inconsistent speeds or weaved in and out of the crowds, cutting off other runners without a care. After a few miles, however, the crowd thinned out a bit, and I was able to get into a rhythm. And that’s where I started running not very smart. 

My “A” goal was to run under 3:05, but I was feeling pretty good. My right ankle started bothering, but it didn’t seem to be affecting my stride, so I decided I could go faster than I had any business going. Fortunately, the feeling of having to go to the bathroom passed, but the idea of running too fast stayed.

Through 30K I was cruising easily at a sub-3 hour marathon pace, but I was starting to feel like that pace was no longer sustainable. My legs and my body were starting to feel it, and I began doing the math of how fast I needed to run to break 3:05. By mile 20 it was clear I wasn’t breaking 3:05, and I took my first walk break, and then more walk breaks at miles 21 and 22. I knew I was coming up on Laura and Calvin around mile 23. I decided I’d make sure I was running then, and I ran as fast as a could, which happened to be about a minute per mile slower than I’d been running.

It was a big pick-me-up, and after taking one more short walk break after seeing them, I decided I was going to run the rest of the way to the finish. The race up to the point where the pace started to feel too fast had felt really good. I’d dedicated a mile to each person who’d donated to my Team World Vision Fundraiser and reading each of their names on the bracelet I’d made gave me a good feeling each mile.

I was able to run the last mile and a half without any walk breaks, and after getting passed again and again for the previous few miles, in the last mile I was able to do some passing myself.

I finished in 3:07:45, missing my “A” goal by about three minutes, but making my “B” goal by almost 8 minutes.

At the finish line I ran into a few old friends—I’ve always enjoyed the small world of running.

I had an unpleasant surprise when they couldn’t find my bag at the bag drop. There wasn’t much I could do about it beyond leaving Laura’s phone number (my phone was in the drop bag) and hope they called me.

Then, I headed to get a massage, then to the Team World Vision tent to have some pizza. Afterwards, I met up with Laura and Calvin, took a few pictures, and headed back to the Team World Vision tent so we could all eat.

We then went to the beer garden and I enjoyed a nice Summit beer. Before we left, I walked back to the drop bag area to check one more time, and thankfully they had the bag. Apparently I’d dropped it in the wrong spot and it went to the VIP area. Whoops.

Despite running a not-very-smart race, I’m pretty happy overall. I beat my “B” goal by a lot, and I surpassed my goal of raising $1310 for Team World 000Vision by over $200.

Now, I need to figure out what to do with the winter season. I have an idea of a race I’d like to do this spring, but first I’m hoping some new exercises I got from physical therapy will help clear up my nagging injuries. Once (I hope) that happens, I’ll think more seriously about training for a spring race.

Thanks for reading.

Twin Cities Marathon: It’s Goal Time

This has been one of the worst training cycles I’ve had for a marathon. Second worst in fact, and after the worst training cycle I ran just a hair under 3:21.

With such a lousy, injury-riddled training cycle, I’ve thought a lot about setting a goal. Part of me thought I’d just run at an easy pace, give high fives, and eat and drink anything and everything passed out on the course. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought about how that wouldn’t actually be that fun for me. Maybe some day, but right now I like to race. I like to push my body to its limit, and while just “running for fun” doesn’t sound like a bad idea, I honestly don’t think I’d enjoy it that much.

So, I’m going to race. It might be stupid and I might blow up and be miserable, but I’m going to try it. Here are my “A,” “B,” and “C” goals.

“A” Goal:

Run a Boston qualifying time, meaning under 3:05. This might be a really bad idea as I’ve missed a few long runs and haven’t done any fast-finish long runs that would normally give me confidence to run at race pace, but I’m going to go for it anyway. The past couple weeks, a 3:05 pace has felt easy, so who knows? Maybe it’ll happen.

“B” Goal:

Run under 3:16. That was the time of my first marathon, so it’d be nice to run faster than that.

“C” Goal:

Run under 3:21:46. My slowest time racing a marathon.

So there they are. I’m going to be aggressive, so there’s a pretty good chance it’s going to get ugly at the end. 

Thanks to all who have supported me in training for Team World Vision. Thanks to you, I’ve surpassed my fundraising goal of $50 per mile. I’ve got a wristband for tomorrow with the names of all those for whom I’m dedicating a mile.

If you’re interested in tracking me, you can download the Twin Cities in Motion app. My bib number is 3450. Here’s a link to get the app:

https://live.sporthive.com/event/4269/App

Team World Vision Training - 1 week to go

It’s almost here. On Sunday, I’ll be running the Twin Cities Marathon for the second time—ten years after my first marathon, also the Twin Cities Marathon.

This training cycle has been tough. It started with a lot of promise. The ankle and foot injuries I was dealing with both cleared up, and for most of the summer I was running injury-free. Then, one little thing after another started bothering me—quad, calf, ankle, ankle in a different spot. Overall, I’d say this is the second worst training cycle I’ve had for a marathon.

That said, I got some encouragement this week. For the second time, a physical therapist did dry needling on my strained quad, and it seems to have helped. With the quad feeling better, I ran a little faster last week, and on one run was cruising at a 3:05 marathon pace with minimal effort. Also, although I’ve had some aches while running, I’m feeling cautiously optimistic that my injuries will stay at bay during the marathon.

Some goals are starting to coalesce in my mind, but I’ll save those for another post.

Thank you to all who have supported me in this marathon journey. A special thanks to those who’ve donated to Team World Vision in order to help bring clean water to communities in need.

You can still help make a difference in bringing clean water to communities in need. Donate through my Facebook Fundraiser, or my Team World Vision donor page. 

Team World Vision Training - 2 weeks to go

This training cycle has me leaping from one pain to another. Last week my left quad, which has been bugging me for a few weeks ago, continued to act up along with my right calf. I got in to see a physical therapist, and he suggested some dry needling. So I agreed to have some small needles jabbed into my calf and quad muscles. 

My calf felt better after the dry needling, but my quad was about the same. Both pains didn’t bother too much on the handful runs I did. Unfortunately,  I felt flat on those runs. My legs didn’t have any pop to them, and I felt fatigued on almost every run.

On Saturday, I went out for a twenty mile run, and unfortunately my right ankle started acting up. Earlier when it acted up, it felt better after a day’s rest. The ankle started hurting just over eleven miles into my twenty mile run, and the pain came and went. Some miles it didn’t hurt at all, and others it was pretty sore.

After completing twenty miles, I feeling pretty confident I’ll be able to finish the Twin Cities Marathon. At one point I had visions of qualifying for the Boston Marathon, but at this point I’m just aiming to finish it and have fun.

I’ve surpassed my goal of raising $50 per mile for a total of $1310 for Team World Vision. Thanks to everyone for helping bring clean water to communities in need. You can still donate through my Team World Vision page: Nate Leckband - Team World Vision, or my Facebook fundraising page: Nate Leckband’s fundraiser.